Ode to Bad Moms

today i didn’t brush my hair and possibly not my teeth
it’s commando day; yay for me…i hope no one can see…
My child is in the same clothes that i think smell like pee
but fighting with him to let me change them happen when he kicked me in the knee…
I didn’t want to go to work
I thought sweats was the way to go.
Unfortunately my boss pointed out that i had no shoes on
I totally forgot my lunch today and FUCK i’m flat broke
I guess we’re doing this the hard way
fruit snacks skittles and some chocolate bar my son left in his car seat Oh joy!
It took me bout half an hour to realize that something was off
Oh God, i forgot to put socks on and my sweats have a hole.
I also forgot i was commando so you can guess where that hole is…yup right up the crack of my ass…where’s my bottle of wine at?

My coworker got me laughin too hard that i pissed my pants.
Well i told the boss i was leaving before anyone saw my embarrassment
I forgot to get my kid from the daycare and i’m still just running late.
We had the famous boxed dinner to eat…but my son would rather sit and play.
No wine at home and horrible beer…that i’ll regret in the morning.
He won’t go to sleep…please shoot me…this momma needs some peace.
I hate to say that i can lay in bed and feel so relaxed…this is my ode to all the bad moms.
FUCK he’s up again!

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